About Rampart

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

A tight-knit team of disparate, passionate and liberal patriots from the UK. Most of us usually don’t give a damn about politics. Certainly, we don’t belong to any one party and have put party politics to one side because this battle is about so much more. We are 6 UK and 2 US citizens and care deeply about both countries which face similar Pied Piper threats.

We are driven by two key factors:

  • By our absolute disdain for the lies of the Hard Left and in particular the conning of the Youth by Hard Left con artists, pushing free crack cocaine of impossible dreams, through their various manifestations (Momentum, Corbyn’s Labour and Feel the Bern in the United States), in such a vile and repugnant manner. 
  • By our undying love of, and loyalty towards, the British Monarchy, which the Hard Left have plans to dismantle should they attain the keys to Downing Street. 


tory scum


The Rampart Core Team comprises of 8 individuals:



Bio: Seth is our moneyman. Originally from the Indian subcontinent, Seth is an avid Arsenal supporter and keeps his belly down with the occasional game of squash. Seth rarely sleeps. Seth is so hairy he leaves a pubic carpet in the shower after showering. Don’t invite him over. Best he stays single. Too much work for Seth to do here. Don’t get any ideas about relationships, Seth, you hairy beast.

Voted at General Elections: Labour, Conservative, Labour, Conservative (a trend which will not continue if Corbyn’s Momentum still run the Labour Party)

Voted at EU Referendum: Remain.

Favourite Word: Clarity



Bio: Salmon is our chief investigator. Salmon works odd hours and forever beds down in dodgy hotels or in the back of his car. Salmon lives off kebabs and Marlboros. If you are a Momentum troll, expect to not see Salmon outside your home or place of work. Salmon will snap you from distance then zoom off and onto the next task. Without our investigators we are nothing. Without Salmon we are just potatoes. Not a man to be messing with. Former soldier who happily searched through buckets of human excrement in search of pistols without gloves when posted to Northern Ireland. Salmon has a message for Momentum: “it’s Falklands not Malvinas, you f*****g snowflake commie c***s”.

Voted at General Elections: Labour.

Voted at EU Referendum: Brexit.

Favourite Word: C**t



Bio: Amasa is our film and audio wizard. Amasa can turn Jeremy Corbyn seamlessly into a coherent politician. Amasa is from up north. Amasa takes no prisoners. With an IQ north of Donald Trump’s and a genius for musical composition, there is not a message that Amasa cannot give wings. Beware.

Voted at General Elections: Never.

Voted at EU Referendum: Remain.

Favourite Word: Cool



Bio: Rampart’s leader and spokesperson Lazarus is a seasoned political strategist with over three decades of political and media scarring. Lazarus knows politicians from all parties, who all know Lazarus for his wonderful charm. Lazarus is our mastermind. Both a blade and a gent. When this is all over he will offer Jon Lansmann an opportunity to discuss Momentum’s downfall over Hortobágyi pancakes in the Gay Hussar, likely inviting the ever-hungry JMcT as well. No doubt the two widowers will become the best of friends despite Lazarus’ pogonophobia and Lansmann’s rash taste for impracticable politics.

Voted at General Elections: Never. Bad for business.

Voted at EU Referendum: Brexit.

Favourite Word: Ninja



Bio: Jeduthun is our young cameraman. Jed puts together all the key documentary material for Rampart and its affiliates. Jed is also a useful technician and sorts out Salmon’s camera gear. Jed one days wants to be Ridley Scott. Jed is a keen footballer and supports Southampton FC.

Voted at General Elections: Labour.

Voted at EU Referendum: Remain.

Favourite Word: Presently



Bio: Rebekah is our wordsmith. Rebekah enjoys the great outdoors as well as cosying by the fire with her laptop and her ability to string together all kinds of words. Rebekah is also our resident proselytising vegan. As a recently graduated mature student, Rebekah has a lot of personal experience of the Hard Left and how they operate on campus. Students, Rebekah has your back. Corbyn-supporting professors should go and find a new career. You’re toast.

Voted at General Elections: 4 X Labour.  1 X Lib Dem. 1 X Conservative.

Voted at EU Referendum: Remain.

Favourite Word: Sagacity



Bio: Habakkuk is the secretary of the Magritte Society to which all Rampart personnel belong. Habakkuk is a recent graduate who fell for the Momentum crowd at the 2017 General Election. Since then Habakkuk has seen the light. Habakkuk is our beagle. Habakkuk knows where to look.

Voted at General Elections: Labour

Voted at EU Referendum: Remain.

Favourite Word: Naive



Bio: Agabus is our web developer and knows her way around social media and the search engines. Agabus graduated from Cambridge in the same year that her family friend Terry Dicks sued John McDonnell for libel. Agabus is married to a soldier who wants to keep his job defending our great nation. Agabus jumped at defending our great nation via her keyboard. Momentum trolls should expect to receive one of Agabus’ gifts. She’s very generous but you’ll unlikely ever see the gifts she sends.

Voted at General Elections: Labour, UKIP, Conservative

Voted at EU Referendum: Brexit.

Favourite Word: Blitz


Important Note: 

We shall remain anonymous until our work is completed. Then we will all show our faces. The reasons for our anonymity are obvious: the trolls and Momentum’s Praetorian Guard who will use violence against us if they knew who we were. Inside this website are a series of breadcrumbs left in the text and metadata which point to various individuals, to whom we apologise as victims of our deliberate plan of obfuscation designed to augment the Trotskyite paranoia. As we continue to score victories against them, and they have no idea who we are or where our victories are emanating from, the more their paranoia shall grow. The quicker their end shall be. Thanks, Paranoid Paul, for clarifying that, comrade: 


paul mason sums it up